I, Object

It never ceases to amaze me the lies people will tell to keep women in line. And how logic is no objection to these lies. A gem: http://www.jewishsexuality.com/is-heavy-petting-wrong. It seems to be a crazy kabbalist website, which encourages rolling around in snow to atone for sexual sins. But part of it unfortunately is just repeating lies often told in "normal" circles. A girl was told not to fool around because a boy who touches her before marriage is by necessity treating her as an object. But by abstaining, she is showing she is not an object. Instead, she is a precious jewel to be kept under lock and key. Until marriage anyway. Wow! I was totally inspired. Indeed, it is so much better to be locked up than to be chas v'shalom an object. Of course I am in love with my jewelry, and even more so with jewelry I have not bought that is locked up. How much more so a man would love a woman who locks herself up. People of course (or at least women, who are sort of people) desire to be locked up. Put on a pedestal. But not gazed at. For that would be objectification. Are these not really two sides of the same coin? In both respects, she is an object. The difference is only who gets to use this object. She is not a cheap whore, rather an expensive call-girl (in waiting.)





Then there's that stop sign that explains: You want love, he wants lust, stop in the naaame of love. It's weird though. Women must be stupid. Women have been told repeatedly men are not looking for love but only lust, and love is all a woman wants rather than lust, yet she gives in to (his) lust.





This brings me to a theory. It could be that women are people. This may not be as exciting as being an expensive jewel, at least in the short run. You may not be expensive. But it makes living life more tolerable. If a "person" feels lust or love or confusion, there are ways to think about it and deal with it. She can grapple with her human needs, and try to understand herself. She may also be able to relate to and communicate with the other person she is in the relationship with.



It is because of these lies that get repeated that I often fear sexuality education. We do not need hunger education. Or love education. These are drives we have,and we experience them in varying ways. We have to learn how to navigate through these ourselves. One can be taught rules, and how some people view these ideas. But how to relate to our bodies is something we have to figure out. Instead, we are told to compartmentalize it . We are lied to and in some cases made to feel guilty. For if women are given an idealized version of their sexuality, and it does not match reality, there is a disconnect between what they have to deal with and what they are told they have to deal with. This can confuse a teenager, but ultimately a relationship. And it can keep us from our humanity and honesty.